Self-Reliant Part Seven
How interesting that Tim and I were just talking about these topics...
It's all about LOGICAL consequences. Reasonable requests. Rational discipline. Respecting the person.
I want my son to obey! So I give him challenges and tasks that he CAN do! Then I praise and reward and make him feel great, hopefully externally AND internally.
So by starting with reasonable requests and treating my child with respect, we will nine times out of ten get GOOD behavior.
Then there are accidents, mistakes...sometimes bad behaviors done ON PURPOSE. We need a consequence to ensure that the child knows these behaviors are NOT OK.
"The Three R's of Logical Consequences
1. Related to the behavior
2. Respectful to both child and adult
3. Reasonable to both child and adult"
"If a child throws a rock and breaks a window, whether intentional or not, grounding or a spanking won't teach responsibility. A logical consequence will."
"Children are much less likely to be irresponsible when they have to experience such natural consequences of their own behavior."
"In setting up consequences, the point is to squeeze the children enough to get their attention but inspire them enough to promote positive change."
SQEEEEEZE your child just enough to get their attention. It might be a CHAT, discussing exactly what happened and why. It might mean you need to physically HUG them before talking about consequences. Just remember your GOAL -- to promote positive change.
Be reality-based. Be reasonable. Be respectful.
It's all about LOGICAL consequences. Reasonable requests. Rational discipline. Respecting the person.
I want my son to obey! So I give him challenges and tasks that he CAN do! Then I praise and reward and make him feel great, hopefully externally AND internally.
So by starting with reasonable requests and treating my child with respect, we will nine times out of ten get GOOD behavior.
Then there are accidents, mistakes...sometimes bad behaviors done ON PURPOSE. We need a consequence to ensure that the child knows these behaviors are NOT OK.
"The Three R's of Logical Consequences
1. Related to the behavior
2. Respectful to both child and adult
3. Reasonable to both child and adult"
"If a child throws a rock and breaks a window, whether intentional or not, grounding or a spanking won't teach responsibility. A logical consequence will."
"Children are much less likely to be irresponsible when they have to experience such natural consequences of their own behavior."
"In setting up consequences, the point is to squeeze the children enough to get their attention but inspire them enough to promote positive change."
SQEEEEEZE your child just enough to get their attention. It might be a CHAT, discussing exactly what happened and why. It might mean you need to physically HUG them before talking about consequences. Just remember your GOAL -- to promote positive change.
Be reality-based. Be reasonable. Be respectful.